Am I being emotionally or verbally abused?
Most people recognize the signs of physical or sexual abuse, but many of the signs of emotional or verbal abuse are much less obvious. Victims are often so ‘worn down’ they do not recognize the abuse. This assessment is designed to teach the signs of emotional or verbal abuse by a family member (partner, parent, or child), but emotional or verbal abuse can be inflicted by a boss, co-worker, care-giver, or anyone who controls an important part of your life.Answer these few questions to learn more about the signs of emotional or verbal abuse and help you determine if you may be a victim.
12 thoughts on “Emotionally or Verbally Abused Assessment”
My brother drinks. When he is drunk he often times get violent with himself and sometimes things. He threatens me. I get very frightened. I can defend myself, but I feel that would lead to consequences to my nephew. I live in fear that he will leave and take him with him. I also don’t want him to leave. I love him, he’s my brother. I feel trapped.
My elderly father is emotionally abusive to me and I’m his main care giver. He lived with me a while going through a divorce caused by his anger issues (which he denies he has). I think he has some dementia on top of it all. He makes sure before I leave seeing him that he makes me mad before I leave, demanding something that he knows I can’t help him with. He keeps calling the sheriff on me and my husband because we won’t bring him a battery charger to start his truck. I won’t let him drive (it’s not safe for him and especially for others). My friends (and husband) tell me to be done with him but none of my brothers or sisters will take on the responsibility. He has skin cancer and other health issues and if I don’t help, he will NOT get the care he needs. It’s so mentally exhausting. What to do??
I have the same problem with my mom … To top it all she feels as if I owe her my whole life because she held me for 9 months(not considering the fact that I had a horrible traumatizing childhood so idk what she thinks she’s so great). I just had my first baby and I’m already over the 9 months thing …. Point is, they don’t know how to do anything(baby boomers) …. And make u feel bad for not doing everything for them when they don’t even care to try themselves.
These days we are more in tune with our feelings, they were raised to not focus on emotions at all. “Do this!” “Don’t ask me why” “because I said so”. This is what elders know and what they expect. It would literally be a miracle for an older person to change . As for u. Put boundaries! IT HURTS! I had to do it with my mom and I’m only 26. but u need to do it because this is ur life too and so far he seems to know how to ruin it . U weren’t born to fix ur parents. Look back n reflect. My brother doesn’t do shit either … So I know how u feel … Ur the one always fixing everyone’s problems….ur anxiety is probably sky rocket and I bet this stress has caused fights in ur marriage. This is you time . Your dad had his time to make his life happy. This is ur time to be happy. Hire someone to help . Get help from the government there is a lot you can do. But don’t lose urself . U don’t need to do everything . Go on a lovely date instead:)
I get emotionally and verbally abused by my Dad for years. I am 22 now and he still hurts me. I never feel good enough or worthy enough. He constantly puts me down. He hit me in the face when I was 19 years old. I feel insecure and unsure of myself.
I feel emotionally abused by my father. Everytime I say something stupid, like in a moment of anger, or refuse to follow through on a direct order, he abandons me at home or in some store parking lot-WHEN HE IS MY ONLY RIDE. Especially irritating when my car is unavalible. And I’m 23, I feel stuck living at home, but where else can I go? I have no job or source of income to save for a place of my own.
My mom tends to argue with me, a lot. When we argue, she tends to bombard me with questions I don’t have the answer to (“why are you like this?”) and she gets frustrated and gives a speech about how she will always understand. Then, she cries, and at the end of the day, I have to go and apologize without any response than “thank you”, even after I share my feelings of hurt at her reactions. Then, she starts to say how everyone in the house tries to deal with me (my moods/mood swings, my asocial attitude…) and how I don’t care, or “I’m not trying”. Another example of her usual behavior that brought me here out of concern was how I ask to do something, like read together, or spend time, and she either says “no”, or: “yes”, only to keep delaying the activity until I give it up. By this point, I don’t ask for anything. I may have depression, and a year ago, I was flunking class and having trouble concentrating because of how tired and how unmotivated I was. My mom yelled at me at how irresponsible I was, and (I tend to panic-laugh/smile when yelled at/hit) I started smiling. She slaps me and yells again before telling me to get ready; we were leaving to the store for my step-father’s birthday present shopping. There was another time, in the car, where my stepsister fell asleep and I didn’t want her head on my lap, so mom yelled to sit down, and I started crying and telling her I try so hard but SHE doesn’t care. My feelings were ignored. During family counseling, she always cries, and I express that I don’t want to be there because she always cries and she starts saying again how everyone tries so hard but it’s like I don’t care/try/want things to get better, so then I cried. My mom doesn’t like it when I cry, and often discourages me from ever crying, saying it’s not worth it.
My friend, whose sister tends to get hit often by their dad, heard my concerns and then mentioned emotional abuse. Concerned, looked it up. My mother applies to most of it to the point it makes her the textbook example.
My boyfriend tells me what I can and cant talk about. When I am talking about something he doesnt want to hear…he tells me that is enough. He calls me clumsy. When I ask him a question he sometimes rolls his eyes or tells me it was a dumb question. He has a quick temper. He is 6ft 2 and a lot bigger than me. I am now scared to say anything to him because of his reaction. He has two dogs that he loves and shows them a lot of affection. He wont touch me anymore. He gets very angry if I say anything about it. I am very depressed and sad. I dont know how much of this I can take. I am afraid I am just over reacting.
My mom and I argue so much. She once dragged me on the floor to my room, she said she hated me, she kicked my cat, she threw all my things on the floor, she threatened to kill me. WHAT DID I DO SO WRONG? I”M ONLY 12!!!!
I live with my grandmother. She constantly yells at me everyday it doesn’t matter what i do she acts so hateful to me. She constantly yells at me about money and blames me for not having money. I will try and do something nice for her and she just acts so mad about it and i never hear a thank you. She tells me that i can never do anything right and she tells me im the reason our family is split up and the reason my pawpaw died. i make it a point to tell her i love her before i leave for school and she rarley says it back…i just feel so alone and unwanted 🙁
i live with both of my parents i am 17 in college. i’ve done a couple mistakes here and there i broke up with my ex because i didn’t have any feelings for them i am waiting for my ship date to the military to leave but i can’t wait any longer i don’t know what to do if i don’t leave.. i have my boyfriend i’m nt allowed to see and we secretly talk he wants to help me because he’s seen and knows how i’ve been hurt.. i want to go with him but my mom threatned and said that i could pretend they died if i left that i’ve done nothing but disappoint them.. they took my phone and car because i broke up with that guy and i just hate that i’ve never tried to disrespect them and when i need them to be there for me they’re not.. they say i could talk to them about things but when i do they bash me for it… and judge me and say i think i know everything but that if i leave im gonna be a mess up.. i’m really unhappy and hurt.. i don’t have it in me to leave but i know i should.. what can i do…?
I never fully realized that my parents were emotionally abusive up until now. When i was a young child it was physical abuse throwing off chairs,slapping and intense lashing sessions with a leather belt. I thought they had gotten “better” since I am older 17 . I have developed acute depression and anxiety. They have switched to more sneaky means of hurting me. I am unable to hold down a job for more than 3 months due to my intense anxiety and phobia. They do not hesitate to put me down and mock me for my poor choice. And to quote “if you are going to do so badly you shouldn’t try at all” . Or another good quote is “my 17 year old daughter is acting like a child grown women don’t cry ” or ” I have done everything thing to stand up for you and you repay me like this, you don’t know how good you have it did you live under communism?” Today they criticized me in public and got even more mad at me for crying. Walking next to me and whispering what a lazy childish brat I was, or calling me a drama queen. I want to die I can’t take much more of this. I already hate myself enough.
my mom and i are complete polar opposites. ever since i was 13 she and i have sparred every moment of the day. we dont get very many good times and when we do they dont last long. she yells and screams at me when i do something wrong and threatens to burn / destroy my possessions (legally mine too, i make a lot of money off art at 16). she takes my electronics away, my only connection to my friends online, if i do anything wrong at all. whenever i ask for an eye to eye discussion though she just mocks me (eg going “ohhhhh sweetie, ohhh child, you dont know anything” etc) and insults me. i constantly feel very depressed and i have a very low sense of self worth. im terrified of my mom. she ripped my computer out of the wall once and threw me onto a hallway. i know i make a lot of mistakes but i wish she would approach them less violently. i wish shed listen to what i have to say instead of taking my electronics away all the time and yell when i try to object.